44 Years in the Closet

Lorraine Barr's essay in the "My Turn" section of Newsweek is called "The Love that Will Finally Speak Its Name." Lorraine writes about how growing up she always knew she was different, and how she met the love of her life, only to have to keep it hidden:

"Now I write this after living for 44 years with the most loved and loving, giving, understanding and delightful partner imaginable. For all our time together, we were 'in the closet,'"

Lorraine and her partner, Mary Frances Piercey, lived in California together where they kept up the charade of being roommates, even when Mary Frances was on her deathbed in 1999.

For Lorraine to feel lucky that she had this time with the woman she loved, despite them being in the closet for years and never feeling comfortable enough to acknowledge their relationship, it seems so difficult. Most of the time we hear about people coming out it’s to their loved ones as they are coming of age; in fact, many gay films are based on this sometimes-difficult task alone. Lorraine’s story makes me feel so grateful and lucky that in this time we live in, where our rights are still being acknowledged as less than, and "coming out" is still a task at hand, the most important thing is that you know for yourself what and who is right for you and your happiness.

Lorraine ended the essay saying she hopes people might congratulate her in her accomplishment that is a long time coming. There are some that might think at 88, why bother? But at 88, living in her Orange County retirement community, Lorraine Barr is finally feeling free and that’s all that matters. If only Mary Frances were here to join in the celebration.

A big Congratulations to Lorraine!