Saturday, December 27, 2008

Holiday Sale!

Dolphins Rock!

Genera and species: Tursiops truncatus
Collective Term: A school of dolphins

Dolphins are those tanned, fit, and beautiful people who populate the background scenes of Baywatch. While they can give the impression that they're not the brightest lights in the harbor, their sun- bleached hair belies a fierce intelligence. This misperception stems from the fact that they've chosen a life of hedonism rather than succumbing to the rat race of their land-bound cousins.

Dolphins are annoyingly healthy; eating and drinking with abandon and never becoming overweight. Undoubtedly it's their active lifestyles that keep them so trim, but their good genes have something to do with it too; for even though dolphins subsist n junk food, their hair is shiny and their skin always glossy.

Generally, dolphins are peaceful and gregarious individuals, almost never displaying open aggression. When accosted, they'll swim away rather than engage in negative behavior and are always on the lookout for friends to join them in recreation. They love to host elaborate parties or social events and take their fun seriously.

Dolphin were not designed for manual labor. Their bodies lack the skillful hands of the land mammal personalities, but their intelligence and social abilities give them advantages in people-oriented careers.

Dolphins are a decidedly lusty lot and never consider the consequences of their behavior before plunging into relationships. Their high level of self-esteem gives them confidence that things will turn out well -- and they usually do . . . for the dolphin that is. For it's usually the dolphin that brings a relationship to its end, for the same reason every time: there's simply too many fish in the sea. No hard feelings of course, it's just time to move on to sample more of life's delicious bouquet.
Saying no to a sexual invitation would simply never occur to a dolphin. It's not that they're indiscriminate or anything, but they have a deep respect for chutzpah and wouldn't want to snub anyone with the gumption to put him or herself on the line.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Love Freakin Love

According to relationship experts at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh, romantic comedies give people unrealistic ideas about love and sex, and cause them to "fail to communicate with their partner." Here's more:

- Psychologists at the family and personal relationships laboratory at the university studied 40 top box office hits between 1995 and 2005, and identified common themes which they believed were unrealistic.

- The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counselors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds. The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realize."

Do you think this is true? Is real-life romance a big ol' letdown? Sure, lots of people like the idea of a perfect man or "happily ever after," but does that mean we're all unable to separate fantasy from reality?

Also, have you ever had an experience that could have been right out of a romantic movie?

I rest my case.