Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm Back

It's been a looong ass time since I last posted something on my blog. Yet, its quite funny (is it really?) that the stories and posts haven't changed much at all. Didn't change actually. Not a single bit.

What do I mean? If you've been following my blog, then I would think you'd know what I mean. Of course I wouldn't think there are a lot of you out there who just continuously check on my blog every 4 minutes just to check for any new posts, so I would elaborate.

I moved to Los Angeles, California about a month ago. I say, I needed to conquer LA and redeem myself. I also say that there are some unfinished business that I have to take care of. True. But its also this untameable restlessness that I have. Seems like I am still trying to find my place in this universe. Searching for what I want. Looking for that certain something that would finally let me settle down.

And then there's that issue on Love. Ha! I should never call it by that name. As I type the letters L-O-V-E i give it meaning, I give it truth and I make it seem like its something real. And even though I have been jaded and bitter these past years, I still continue to hope that it could happen, that I, too can experience it all over again.

Should at this point, this posting would seem all too depressing, I urge you to stop reading coz believe me you, it would get worse.

So Person #1. I thought (why do i usually start my sentences with these words?) I finally met a great match. Same age as me, cute, takes care of his body, decent job, sweet as hell, very caring and an all around good guy. The way we met was something short of a hollywood movie. We met on new year's eve and we shared a sweet kiss at the strike of midnight - 2009. Great way to start the year! But we weren't really connecting. Its hard to explain but the chemistry really wasn't there. I gave it a chance but I really don't think it would work.

Person #2. My roomie's friend stayed over at our apartment for a weekend. He's cute. But I really didn't pay attention coz I was still trying to get this other person out of my system. Then I was informed that my roomie had to go to dinner and that I would be his designated chauffeur for the night. And we started talking. Great conversation always gets my rocks off. I was lured into his being. And knowing that he'll be here for just a few days, the entire experience just took off in some sort of fast and furious episode. But yeah, he doesn't live in the city. And yeah he's leaving for another country for med school (yeah, med school sister!). So, yeah that wouldn't work.

Person #3. Let's try to do this in one run-on sentence. Guy from New York who I totally fell in love with called me (happiness) but he has a long term boyfriend (sad) broke up with his boyfriend of 7 years (hopeful) and then informed me that he met someone already that he is head over heels in love with now (devastated) and then has me to thank because he met him through a friend of mine who brought the guy to my send off party (what?!). Yeah. Enough said. Oh wait, just one question. Why not me? Oh wait, another question. When will it be my turn?

Person #4. There's this guy that I was corresponding with on for a while now. Seems like we've been getting along real well. He's cute, nice profile, nice pictures, great job (cardiologist) and based from our conversations, has an awesome personality. After several email exchanges, I decided to ask him if he wants to meet up. With hands trembling, I was still hopeful. After everything that happened, and I mean everything from the past 5 years, why would this one be any different? Still I sent him the email. Would you like to guess what his response is? He got a job in Kansas.

Yey! So nope, there is no hope. Imma gonna die single.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Playboy Quote

"Everything I learned about love, I learned from the movies. The reality is because I was not shown affection, I escaped into an alternate universe, and it came right out of the movies. Love for me is defined almost exclusively in terms of romantic love as defined by the films of my childhood."

- Playboy honcho Hugh Hefner tells the L.A. Times