It was a night with friends at the Abbey. We have been celebrating New Year's Eve at this place. Im not sure why we opt to go to the Abbey every year. Its always crowded and it seems like everyone is just pretending to be happy and excited about the coming year. Oh well, it was happy. Friends were there. Of course the ex was there. Its just weird that I still felt weird about him. Its been more than 2 years that we technically broke up. Now, i still have this feeling of jealousy over him whenever he's with someone. I guess he could be right when he said that I will never accept whoever he's dating. There will always be that animosity between me and whoever he's with. Darn.
I havent really completely understood our "relationship." I cant help but think of the things that we've gone through as a couple. Its not like I want the whole world to know. Wait. Yes i want the whole world to know. Why not? I loved him with my all my heart. But yeah, i still dont understand what was it in our relationship that couldnt be explained. Up until now, some things are still blurry. All i know is that i love him.
I have decided that this will be the last time that I will be thinking of that past relationship. I still do love him. But its high time to really and truly move on. The hope will still be there but will not be entertained except when the time comes that its right in front of us. Its time to stop being hurt with words, actions and everything else that has to do with him and events not going my way.
It has been 2 and a half years that I have been single. I guess i felt that no one else came close to how I feel about him. Amidst all the fights, complains, tears, yes...no one else still comes close. But 2006 is the time to let go of everything that still remains inside of me. I have my whole life ahead of me. And I will no longer dwell on the past.
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