I think i broke down tonight. No, its not what you think. For my blog readers (yup, all 8 of them!) who's been following my stories, I'm sure they'd say that, here's another one of those sappy love stories or failed relationships or miserable stories of bitterness. i would like to happily say, that this isn't one of those.
In the past few years, whenever I admit that I am happy, there would always be that one thing that would go wrong. always. i thought it was crazy to think this way. but after a continuous and regular cycle, almost like clockwork, i thought I may be on to something. what if i deny myself of happiness. what if every single time that there is that hint of a probable happy moment, i see it as something ordinary. something that isn't worth celebrating. something that just happens on a regular day. like getting milk at the grocery store or buying soda at 7-11. then maybe it won't be taken away from me.
Tonight, everything felt so right that without any doubt or fear, I can say that I am happy. I spoke to my family back home and everything is going well. My younger brother has gotten his dream job and is being the most amazing kid brother in the whole world. My mom just celebrated her 60th birthday and still remains the vibrant, caring, sweet, woman that she's been every since I met her. My dad's is back on his game and is healthier than ever. He is taking good care of himself by sticking to a good diet, his cholesterol level is back to normal, biopsy for his prostate is benign and he is back to his old jolly self teasing me of sending him millions of dollars so he can get his dream car! I also reconnected with old friends who mean the world to me. and when you don't have family here in the US, there's nothing that can fill that void but the truest of friends.
AND, I recently met this amazing person who can light up my day with a smiley, who can make me smile with a goofy grin, who can withstand any eating competition in the entire Los Angeles county, and who can (possibly) rock my world. Although, i know its too soon to predict, coz god knows how it would end up, being able to feel this excitement again, the butterflies in my stomach again or the pain of anticipation on when we'll see each other again, is more than enough to make me feel happy.
And as if on cue, my dog, Oreo jumped into my bed and snuggled next to me.