Testing...Testing...

So i had my first ever HIV test today. It was a mind blowing experience. There were around a dozen people in the room waiting for their turn to get tested or just simply waiting for their test results. Everyone stealing quick glances at everyone walking in and out of the dreaded door. We were watching Jeopardy. Trying to relax. There was tension in the room. We tried guessing the answers to the different questions of Jeopardy. But who would actually freakin know the date when perforated cardboard boxes were invented? Or what's the name of that watchamacallit bridge in the nearby town of Moscow, Russia?

Finally they called me. I was FA28 that night. It was the initials to my first and last name and uhmmm... my age. The doctor or that's what i assumed him to be, was very nice. He did have a bit of a sneezing problem which kinda got me worried a bit. But after a while, i thought to myself, it was the least of my worries that night. He pricked me with this small contraption, he missed the first time, then did it again. A small drop of blood was collected from my middle finger. How ironic, i was giving the doctor the finger while he tested me for HIV. Then it was over. It was just time to wait. A dancing competition was now on TV.

The counselor then called me. We had the usual greetings. Very basic. Trying our best to remain anonymous amidst all the confidential information we are giving away that night. Whats your sexual Preference? GAY. How many sexual partners have you had for the past 6 months? I had to think. Its not like ive had sex with a gazillion guys for the past 6 months. Its the other way around, i haven't had sex for a while. Yeah, HONEST! But i know i had sex the past six months. I said 2. But i think it was 3. Top or bottom? BOTH (ha!). Do you use condoms? ALWAYS. And a lot of other really sexual questions.

I went out to the waiting area again. It was another 10 minutes to wait. I glanced around the room. I saw a young gay couple. They were 22 and 23 years old. I found out because you give them your initials and then your age. Thus, i was FA28. And then i guess there was the customary older white guy with younger asian guy couple. All of them went in and out of the counselors room with stoic faces. I never would know if they were positive or negative. Never. But i know that one of my friends was going to be positive.

At exactly 3pm today, he texted me that he needed to talk to me after work. It was urgent. Not hearing from him for quite a while now, i was curious. Of course being the nosy me, I can't wait until the end of the day to find out what was so urgent. So i called him up. I heard panic, pain and stress in his voice. Then crying. He said his blood test was just released and he came out to be HIV positive. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I was speechless. I couldn't believe that someone i know would be afflicted with this dreadful disease. I couldn't think of words to say that would comfort him. This is usually a talent of mine. I would transform whatever bad news one would have into something positive. No matter how bad it is.

But nothing came out. All i had to offer was for him to take the test again. And that i will go with him. And that it wasn't the end of the world. Which was a pathetic statement. If it was me, I would hate to hear that cliche. But its the truth. Its not the end of the world if you tested positive for HIV. I guess i wouldn't know. Im not in his shoes.

He cried, no, he sobbed, no, he really burst into tears as soon as we got out of the clinic. All i could do was hug him. His entire life would change now. His relationship with his boyfriend was at stake. His parents would be devastated. His whole world started to crumble right in front of him. I just closed my eyes and wished that it was just a bad joke. Or another one of my day dreams. But when I opened my eyes, it was not. And we have to deal with the fact that he is HIV positive.

I came out negative.