When I was trying to research a clear cut definition of “ligawan,” which is the Tagalog word for traditional Filipino courtship, I came across a completely different word which was “lugawan,” a fast food place that serves “lugaw,” or rice porridge. I don’t know how this is related to my topic but I just find it funny. And all of a sudden I became hungry. The research wasn’t that easy. I had to really dig deep to get a formal definition of “ligawan.” I don’t know if this sends me a sign that the traditional Filipino courtship isn’t happening anymore especially if you are a Filipino who hasn’t been living in the Philippines for quite a while. Or is the art of courtship really dead in this fast paced, internet generation?
What really encompasses the “ligawan?” According to Wikipedia, courtship is and I quote "the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval."
Hmmkk. Wikipedia is an awesome tool. Mental note, I need to make myself “Wikipedia-able!” Maybe then, someone can actually be interested in me and court me. HA! So based on the definition, isn’t courtship a vital stage in establishing a real honest to goodness relationship? I mean, how else can two people get to know each other and really know if they would like to pursue a relationship without going through a dating period?
So I think, it isn’t a question of whether “ligawan” is still in vogue or not, but the manner in which the courtship is done. For some, it’s the time to put their best foot forward. Time to impress. Time to be fake? Of course not, but then again you do have to try to impress, but not to the extent of coming up with a totally fabricated YOU. You just try to emphasize your best qualities first. Then ease the other person to the flaws that you might have (good thing I don’t have flaws! LOL!)
I know some people who skipped the entire process and still ended up being together. But after some time decided that they didn’t really know each other that well and that they didn’t have much in common aside from wild, hot, passionate, mind blowing (you get the picture) sex. Which I think is also important. But after everything else (and I mean orgasm) what else is there to do if you don’t have anything to talk about. Believe me, for some people I know, this could be the most ideal relationship! But not for me.
Amidst the bitter and jaded postings, putting aside the hard shell and ever growing wall that I put into my façade, I still truly believe in… (dear god, I can’t even type it without feeling icky) I still believe in…(ok, I can do this), yes, I still truly and honestly believe in love (whew, and I didn’t even vomit a little bit in my mouth this time!). And with this out in the open, I want to go through the “ligawan” process. You know that feeling when you absolutely want to call or text but you stop yourself, when you are just dying to see the other person again but you hesitate in asking, when you experience a million butterflies in your stomach every time you see the other person, but you have to play it cool, all these things happen during the “ligawan” process. I know that the end result, if everything works out well, is for the two of you to be together. And wow, that is truly the best feeling ever! But one can’t compare to the feeling that you can experience in the firsts of the pre-relationship phase. First date, first kiss, first movie, first everything! And these firsts will never happen again. There will only be one first date, one first kiss. And that is why I think “ligawan” is so important to making a relationship really valuable to both parties. Thereby helping strengthen the relationship and making it last.
Yeah, fine. You can laugh at me now. Psh.
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