Standing motionless in the shower this morning, letting the water just cascade over my head down my body, I had a realization. The worst thing about dating isn't getting rejected. It's allowing yourself to hope. Hope is the absolutely worst thing you can do when you're dating. Oh, I know hope is supposed to be this great sustaining emotion. Everybody always says, "Don't lose hope." Fuck that. Hope sucks. It's because I hope so hard that the disappointment is always so great.Hope sucks. It never fails. Whenever I start hoping, everything just starts crumbling down, everything fails. Its actually starting to be funny now. I used to get depressed about all those failed dates and prospective love interests, but I guess after it has happened to you a dozen gazillion times, you kinda feel numb already. Almost dead inside. And it becomes funny. And I just laugh.
It's about time I simply accepted the fact that there is no one out there waiting for me. Mr. Right doesn't exist.
- Men Who Love Men by William J. Mann
Woohoo. So much fun. I don't really know why it hasn't happened yet. I tried going out on dates, putting myself out there, not looking, tried hooking up, laying low, and all sorts of different styles, still there's no one. I really feel that there is no one out there for me anymore. I am thinking that my soul mate, the one true love, my partner in life does not exist anymore. By some weird twist of fate, i was left out and was missed in that careful planning of pairs.
Hope sucks.
3 comments:
I hear you!! Hope is so damn misleading!
i guess one just needs to abide by how the universe dictates things at times, or most times based on your input. however, i still do subscribe to the fact that one should never wane in hoping and that the last thing we should left out in life is such. for how do we aspire for far greater things if what we have in front of our eyes are the only ones we see.
happy weekend!
Hoping is never the problem.. its about people over thinking it.. they expect too much coz they exert a lot of effort to be noticed. You don't have to learn dating styles or follow norms.. you want to be loved because of who you are not because you are trying to be something you're not. Plus, love is about the satisfying the other person not to satisfy yourself. If selfishness is the reason why you want to love then you will forever fail...
good day
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