Testing...Testing...1...2..3...

Back when I was still living in Los Angeles, whenever I'm on the freeway and i see a police car on my rear view mirror or maybe even just hearing the sound of the police siren from far away, I often feel nervous or guilty of some driving violation. I swear, my ass cheeks would just clench because of that unexplainable fear. Even if I'm 99% sure that I haven't done anything wrong and I've followed every single rule on the driving manual, I still feel a wee bit scared.

I felt the same way when a doctor friend of mine brought an HIV testing kit to our apartment a couple of nights ago. It was just a random thing that he thought of doing. Another friend of mine excitedly started doing the test. I hesitated. I was thinking this is something very personal and I wouldn't want to do it on front of my friends. At the end, I still took the test. But I wanted to do it by myself, inside the privacy of my own room and wait for the result by myself as well. I didn't want it to be some lottery show where everyone is watching for the winning combination. In this case, being positive or negative.

As my friend took the test, a couple of high fives flew in the air and some congratulatory cheers were mandated as he tested negative. On a personal note, i think the celebration was appropriate indeed, but as I ponder on it, being negative means you've been responsible enough to follow the strict instructions on the manual. Which should ALWAYS be the case. There is no other way but to ALWAYS be safe. I am glad that my friend tested negative. The cheers and celebration could pass, I would rather think of it as a celebration for the sense of responsibility and maturity for taking good care of oneself.

I tested negative as well.