abra-ca-dabra!

Cheese.

2011-03-14T19:41:00.000-04:00

Major cheese overload. I was reading my postings for the past years and it's so cheesy! But I am sure my beloved blog buddies (there's 9 of them now!) loved it!

It has been decades ago since my last post. It seems like if I am happy, and a lot of things are going well, it a lot more difficult to write. This has been the same routine ever since. So now, I decided that I will change it a bit. I will blog more. Although it will be better if you don't read the first few posts, as I am sure I'd need to get my groove back again! (Stella?)

Happy.

And. I'm. Back.

2010-10-24T11:48:00.003-04:00

Magic is still great. It's magical. So it's not like i'm looking for magic again. it's a blog about living the magic. and looking for a job. so watch out for more blog posts coming soon!

Boyfriend.

2010-05-17T18:31:00.003-04:00

I never thought that word can be so powerful. I was going through all my posts on my blog and it was really a helluva ride to find this elusive magic that everyone in the fairy tale world is talking about. I won't go into detail on what I've been through, what I felt, who I met, what I did, where I went or why I did all the things that I've done just to find magic again. Because that's all in the past.

I have found the magic again.

"it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic." - sleepless in seattle (1993)

There's no other way to describe it. No words can describe how I knew. I am sure that everyone who has fallen in love would know what I mean. You just know that it fits. It feels right. And it's perfect. Those tiny little things that he does that can explode into a full blown emotion that just fills up your day. Heartaches are now an entirely different story. You'd feel tiny bouts of pain because you miss him, because he smiled, because he said something, wrote something or did something that means the world to you.

Boyfriend. I have forgotten how it feels to have someone call me this word. I have forgotten how everything goes when there's someone that you'd call a boyfriend. Forgive me for using this cliche, but just like riding a bike, it all came back. After living a life of jaded bitterness, I have built a fortress that would block anything and everyone that could crush my heart. Surprisingly, it easily melted when you find the "one."

"This is Francis, my boyfriend."

In as much as I want to fill this entire blog with a description on how happy I feel right now (and i know i could!), I would just end it with saying. I have found magic again. And I am now a non-single person. I love you RJ.

Tonight.

2010-03-28T02:35:00.001-04:00

I think i broke down tonight. No, its not what you think. For my blog readers (yup, all 8 of them!) who's been following my stories, I'm sure they'd say that, here's another one of those sappy love stories or failed relationships or miserable stories of bitterness. i would like to happily say, that this isn't one of those.

In the past few years, whenever I admit that I am happy, there would always be that one thing that would go wrong. always. i thought it was crazy to think this way. but after a continuous and regular cycle, almost like clockwork, i thought I may be on to something. what if i deny myself of happiness. what if every single time that there is that hint of a probable happy moment, i see it as something ordinary. something that isn't worth celebrating. something that just happens on a regular day. like getting milk at the grocery store or buying soda at 7-11. then maybe it won't be taken away from me.

Tonight, everything felt so right that without any doubt or fear, I can say that I am happy. I spoke to my family back home and everything is going well. My younger brother has gotten his dream job and is being the most amazing kid brother in the whole world. My mom just celebrated her 60th birthday and still remains the vibrant, caring, sweet, woman that she's been every since I met her. My dad's is back on his game and is healthier than ever. He is taking good care of himself by sticking to a good diet, his cholesterol level is back to normal, biopsy for his prostate is benign and he is back to his old jolly self teasing me of sending him millions of dollars so he can get his dream car! I also reconnected with old friends who mean the world to me. and when you don't have family here in the US, there's nothing that can fill that void but the truest of friends.

AND, I recently met this amazing person who can light up my day with a smiley, who can make me smile with a goofy grin, who can withstand any eating competition in the entire Los Angeles county, and who can (possibly) rock my world. Although, i know its too soon to predict, coz god knows how it would end up, being able to feel this excitement again, the butterflies in my stomach again or the pain of anticipation on when we'll see each other again, is more than enough to make me feel happy.

again.

finally.

And as if on cue, my dog, Oreo jumped into my bed and snuggled next to me.

good night.

Who's the Cutest?

2010-03-23T20:06:00.002-04:00

Click on the link to find out - www.whosthecutest.com

Is he also "a gay?"

2010-03-23T19:48:00.000-04:00

“Anak, is he also a gay?”

That was the one solitary question that my mom asked me when I told her that I started dating again. She didn’t ask about any personal questions, how we met, where he lives, what does he do or anything else. She just asked me, if he was also “a gay?”

I didn’t know what she meant by “a gay.”

I came out to my mom a couple of years ago. I told myself that I would come out to my family when I turn 30. I know for sure that they already know. But I wanted to formally come out to them. I didn’t have the chance to come out to them in person as I was living in New York at that time. So I called her. My mom and I are very close. We can talk about anything and everything. She can ask me about shoes, current events, latest celebrity gossip, etc. I guess that was one indication that I was different from my brother. But I couldn’t talk to her about my sexuality. So when the time came that I finally told her. It was a glorious day. I know our relationship would be so much better.

She said she knew, but she still cried. But I know, she was happy.

I asked her what she meant by “a gay.” Apparently, she has seen and heard of couples in the Philippines where one person is gay and the partner is a straight male. The gay partner usually supports the straight male financially and the relationship is based solely on this premise. It was sad. But true. And I understood why my mom wasn’t as happy as I am when I told her that I met someone and that I am finally dating again. She was more scared and worried about the possible new relationship. A direct opposite of my elation and excitement. But I completely understood her.

There are dozens of misconceptions about homosexuality, more so homosexual relationships. Even now that gay relationships are slowly getting accepted in most parts of the world, it is still a struggle to prove that a homosexual relationship is very much like any heterosexual relationship. That it is based on two people attracted to each other, wanting to be with each other and essentially loving each other.

I asked my mom about her dream wedding for my younger (straight) brother. She got excited all of sudden. She said she wanted to experience everything. From looking for venues, food tasting, designing the invitation, looking for the right paper, checking out wedding cakes and all the stress that comes with the wedding preparation. She ended with saying that it’s unfortunate that I can’t have that. I had to tell her that we can actually. But it’s just going to be a little different wherein, instead of a bride and a groom, it will be two grooms.

She was a little bit confused. Not because of the idea of two men getting married, but more of the fact that the sanctity of marriage was based on two people loving each other and committing to be with each other forever. She couldn’t see that happening with a homosexual relationship because of her prior notion on these kinds of relationships.

I can actually describe my mom as a modern mom. She thinks this way not because she’s closed minded or stupid, but it is because this is how gay relationships are presented to her in the Philippines. Both in real life and also in the mainstream media. Once again, it’s the sad truth.

I guess it is up to me to show her, tell her and make her feel that the reason why I remained single for a very long time was because I wanted to find someone who is perfect for me. Someone who I can share my life with and commit to be with. Not for any other reason, but because of true, traditional and unconditional love.

Just like any other heterosexual relationship.

Someday.

i want.

2010-03-18T20:48:00.002-04:00

uh oh.

2010-03-18T19:00:00.001-04:00

My Kitchen

2010-03-16T00:29:00.005-04:00

After a year of living in the tiniest shoe box of an apartment in New York City, I vigorously searched the entire borough of Manhattan for the perfect apartment. After weeks of walking, cab fares, subway rides and just jumping from one brownstone to another, i found one. It was a traditional walk up apartment in the Upper West Side. Rent controlled, brick walls, hardwood floors and the cutest bay window overlooking central park. It was perfect. Except for the kitchen.

Mind you, all New Yorkers know that the the hardest things to find in the city are as follows, based on the degree of difficulty:

#3 - JOB
#2 - Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Relationship
#1 - A Perfect Apartment

And I turned down this apartment.

When I was a kid, i found myself seeking refuge in the kitchen. Nope, not pigging out. Well sometimes. But more of just hanging out in the kitchen. For overly depressing situations, I somewhat find comfort in the rhythmic humming of the fridge. It seems like it soothes my innermost sorrows. When I moved to the US, I spent most of my nights in the kitchen during the times when I felt so alone or when I miss my friends and family back in the Philippines. The kitchen was never a stranger to me. No matter where I go, I'd seem to find a good friend in anyone's kitchen. But not in this so called New York kitchen. And i just couldn't live there.

In my most recent move. I found it harder to get to know my current kitchen. It seems like it didn't accept me right away and vice versa. It seems unwilling to offer its usual welcome. Even the fridge didn't care to offer me it's soothing melody. It took some time.

But recently, I made peace with my new kitchen.

I cooked for the first time. I prepared breakfast. Nothing fancy, just eggs and toast and some turkey ham. But it was the most delightful breakfast. It was like finding a long lost friend. I was happy to finally reconnect.

But tonight, like all good friends, my kitchen was brutally honest with me. After a long day at work, stripped off my work clothes and slipped into my pj's, I was eating some leftovers beside my newly polished stove, my new kitchen reminded me that I wasn't home yet. That this wasn't my home. And I felt alone.

I know, its kind of melodramatic. But it did feel that way. I was looking at the dining table and remembered all the great meals that my mom and dad prepared for me and my brother. How we'd always (always!) get together every Sunday after Church to just get a recap of the week and update each other of our lives. Even when we had the simplest of all meals, it was always a an awesome time eating with the family.

It would be nice to come home to a place I can call home. Hopefully soon!

(and yes, i was totally posing in that pic!)

Magic & Meg Ryan

2010-03-08T01:58:00.000-05:00

"it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic." - sleepless in seattle (1993)

it's real. it's out there. i still believe in it. i know it still exists. i've experienced the magic once and for a very long time, i've searched and waited. amidst the jaded and bitter years, i know in my heart that it will happen again.

im cheesy.

this morning i had brunch with my best friend Jun. we've been caught in this vicious cycle called life, that we haven't really been seeing much of each other lately. but we vowed to change that. thus we had brunch.

it doesn't hurt to believe and it isn't bad to hope. jun has always been on my case whenever i tell him that it would never work out. i am destined to be single. maybe i'm not built to be in a relationship. maybe i am the exception to the rule. as we were revisiting those dark years, we stumble upon what has been happening to me the past weeks. hoping upon hope that i could once again be happy.

and then, out of all the brunch places in Los Angeles, out of all the possible celebrity sightings, out of all the things that could possibly happen, Meg Ryan sat next to me at the restaurant.

Really Francis? Really?

2010-03-05T16:22:00.001-05:00

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

- Erica Jong
American Author

www.textsfromlastnight.com

2010-03-04T12:57:00.001-05:00

"When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty"

"I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened..."

"Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious."

LMAO!

"Why are you single?"

2010-03-03T13:27:00.001-05:00

I don't think that's even a valid question. Real questions should be answerable. That question just isn't. No one really knows why they are single. Well, unless they have body odor. I'm kidding. Even those with odor problems deserve to be with someone.

- prince of magic

Sorry this post isnt about you. No really.

2010-03-03T02:48:00.002-05:00

i noticed its easier to write when I'm depressed. it's easier to write about heartaches and pain. its easier to write about failed relationships and lost hopes. i also noticed that people comment more on tear-jerker blog postings, not those tears of joy kind of tears but those painful emotional tear jerker posts that i used to have. well that was before i had my tear ducts shut permanently.

it got me thinking, are people getting more accustomed to being hurt than being happy? why is it that people relate more to sad stories than happy ones? is it getting harder and harder to be happy these days? and this is just the search for happiness in general. what about the happiness that relates to love? most of the comments that i get from readers are usually from these sad posts about love. i concur. i am not alone in this eternal search for love and happiness. i have my legions of followers that could attest to the harshness that love and hope has brought to the world.

sometimes the universe can be cruel. yet sometimes when you just totally detest how the universe has been taunting you all these years, it, all of a sudden, throws you a bone. would it hurt to try to accept happiness? i guess not.

i received an email the other day. someone asked me why i was starting to sound happy with my posts. am i getting soft? am i warming up? friends also noticed something different. maybe it's time to change. maybe there are certain reasons to feel good about myself. maybe there's a reason to be happy. maybe the universe has conspired to jumble the alignment of the stars a bit. maybe.

wait. maybe this post might be a little bit about you then. maybe.

speaking of awesomeness...

2010-03-03T02:21:00.001-05:00

my best friend Leo...

Awesome Pinoy Kid!

2010-03-02T19:44:00.002-05:00

I love cheese.

2010-03-01T03:05:00.001-05:00

"Yes, right... arguing about cheese brings the relationship to a whole new level. No longer in the realm of wine or bread, or even cologne or clothes but cheese, dammit! And when you find that perfect cheese that you both enjoy, no matter how stinky, flaky, spongy, creamy, rancid, indespicably pungent it may be, you will savor every bit of it... because good cheese, like a good man, is not about being sweet or soft or easy to slice... it's about waking your senses with intoxicating smells and filling your mouth with tastes and textures that you'd keep coming back for more..."

Damn I don't look 28!

2010-03-01T01:24:00.001-05:00

...walang hihirit!

Good things happen to those who wait...

2010-02-27T19:20:00.000-05:00

Beautifully Imperfect

2010-02-27T18:54:00.001-05:00

Father & Son Relationship

2010-02-26T19:16:00.002-05:00

I've never been so enthusiastic about a site like this before. You have got to check this out. One of the best Father - Son stories ever.

Days with My Father

*sigh*

i miss my dad.

Oreo in Heat!

2010-02-26T14:46:00.001-05:00

2010-02-26T14:31:00.001-05:00

Let us all remember the importance of the People Power Revolution that led the Philippines to democracy. Around this time, more than 2 decades ago, the Filipinos rallied the streets of Edsa armed with prayer and brotherhood and won the fight to bring back democracy. Mabuhay ang Pilipino!

I wish. I hope. I want!

2010-02-26T12:26:00.001-05:00

An elderly couple walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic for a checkup and spotted a piano. They've been married for 62 years and he'll be 90 this year. Check out this impromptu performance. We are only as old as we feel, it's all attitude. Enjoy! They certainly did!

Uso pa ba ang ligawan? (Is courtship still being practiced?)

2010-02-22T17:30:00.003-05:00

When I was trying to research a clear cut definition of “ligawan,” which is the Tagalog word for traditional Filipino courtship, I came across a completely different word which was “lugawan,” a fast food place that serves “lugaw,” or rice porridge. I don’t know how this is related to my topic but I just find it funny. And all of a sudden I became hungry.

The research wasn’t that easy. I had to really dig deep to get a formal definition of “ligawan.” I don’t know if this sends me a sign that the traditional Filipino courtship isn’t happening anymore especially if you are a Filipino who hasn’t been living in the Philippines for quite a while. Or is the art of courtship really dead in this fast paced, internet generation?

What really encompasses the “ligawan?” According to Wikipedia, courtship is and I quote "the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage. During a courtship, a couple dates to get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement. Usually courtship is a public affair, done in public and with family approval."

Hmmkk. Wikipedia is an awesome tool. Mental note, I need to make myself “Wikipedia-able!” Maybe then, someone can actually be interested in me and court me. HA! So based on the definition, isn’t courtship a vital stage in establishing a real honest to goodness relationship? I mean, how else can two people get to know each other and really know if they would like to pursue a relationship without going through a dating period?

So I think, it isn’t a question of whether “ligawan” is still in vogue or not, but the manner in which the courtship is done. For some, it’s the time to put their best foot forward. Time to impress. Time to be fake? Of course not, but then again you do have to try to impress, but not to the extent of coming up with a totally fabricated YOU. You just try to emphasize your best qualities first. Then ease the other person to the flaws that you might have (good thing I don’t have flaws! LOL!)

I know some people who skipped the entire process and still ended up being together. But after some time decided that they didn’t really know each other that well and that they didn’t have much in common aside from wild, hot, passionate, mind blowing (you get the picture) sex. Which I think is also important. But after everything else (and I mean orgasm) what else is there to do if you don’t have anything to talk about. Believe me, for some people I know, this could be the most ideal relationship! But not for me.

Amidst the bitter and jaded postings, putting aside the hard shell and ever growing wall that I put into my façade, I still truly believe in… (dear god, I can’t even type it without feeling icky) I still believe in…(ok, I can do this), yes, I still truly and honestly believe in love (whew, and I didn’t even vomit a little bit in my mouth this time!). And with this out in the open, I want to go through the “ligawan” process.

You know that feeling when you absolutely want to call or text but you stop yourself, when you are just dying to see the other person again but you hesitate in asking, when you experience a million butterflies in your stomach every time you see the other person, but you have to play it cool, all these things happen during the “ligawan” process. I know that the end result, if everything works out well, is for the two of you to be together. And wow, that is truly the best feeling ever! But one can’t compare to the feeling that you can experience in the firsts of the pre-relationship phase. First date, first kiss, first movie, first everything! And these firsts will never happen again. There will only be one first date, one first kiss. And that is why I think “ligawan” is so important to making a relationship really valuable to both parties. Thereby helping strengthen the relationship and making it last.

Yeah, fine. You can laugh at me now. Psh.

Obssessed with New York: NY Apartments

2010-02-22T13:10:00.005-05:00

Obssessed with New York: Billy's New Apartment

2010-02-22T13:07:00.007-05:00

Saving Mankind.

2010-02-18T21:16:00.002-05:00

From one of my favorite blogs - Break the Illusion

Interested in saving the world? Me too! Here are some of my best and favorite ideas for saving humankind:

1.If someone cuts you off while driving, offer them a prayer or a blessing instead of anger.
2.Recycle.
3.Whatever you want for yourself, want it more for other people.
4.Use energy-efficient light bulbs.
5.Drop your grudges. (They serve only to poison you.)
6.Concern yourself with your actions and thoughts more than you concern yourself with the actions or thoughts of others.
7.If it’s yellow, leave it mellow. If it’s brown flush it down.
8.Smile.
9.“Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others.” - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
10.Give whatever you want more of.
11.Create what you want rather than resisting what you don’t want. Mother Teresa refused to attend an anti-war rally. “But as soon as you have a pro-peace rally,” she replied, “I’ll be there.”
12.Exercise.
13.Eat grass-fed beef. Or become a vegetarian.
14.Create peace through peace. “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” - Wayne Dyer
15.Dream more.
16.Work less.
17.Eat dessert first.
18.Use your talents in a way that helps other people.
19.Volunteer.
20.See yourself in others

Quotable Quotes...

2010-02-18T20:53:00.001-05:00

"Passion can be used to describe the beauty of an earth-shaking meeting between two people, but it isn't just that. It's there in the excitement of the unexpected, in the desire to do something with real fervor, in the certainty that one is going to realize a dream."
-Eleven Minutes

British Columbia

2010-02-16T21:26:00.004-05:00

I haven't been. I haven't even heard of friends telling me great stories about the place. All I know is that it exists. I'm sure there's a ton of great places to see and a lot of great things to do as well. I just haven't really planned on going. But maybe when the right time comes, I'll be able to visit, experience life there and who knows. I might be pleasantly surprised. It might change my life. And by that time, I'd have a BC story to tell my grandchildren.

Hope sucks...

2010-02-16T02:35:00.002-05:00

but not all the time. sometimes you have to give it a chance. that maybe hope can be a good thing. that maybe it's good to hope. maybe.

HI. My name is Francis...and you are?

2010-02-15T14:34:00.002-05:00

It's been over 800 years ago since my last posting on here. I think everyone was still listening to their walkmans and people are still wearing their acid wash jeans the last time i blogged. thereby, i am forcing myself to blog once again.

To say that a lot has happened within those 800 years would be an understatement. I had fully uprooted myself from downtown los angeles. Sadly. I love living in DTLA. Its reminiscent of New York City. Well not really. But its the closest i can get to remembering the streets of glorious Manhattan. I now live in the wonderfully happy world of West Hollywood. But not that close to the gays. Just the right distance. Still, its a nice neighborhood. An assortment of gays, lesbians, old folks and wannabee hipsters that got lost from the silverlake area, walking an assortment of dogs in the morning. I must say, most of these people are really nice. They take time to say hi, good morning and how are you, sometimes with real, genuine sincerity!

I also launched my non profit the past few months. Layers of Love has gone through the usual and expected ups and downs of a start up organization. But thats for another blog entry. check it out - www.layersoflovela.org

In terms of love life. I am still single. That's it, enough said.

4th State to Legalize Gay Marriage - Vermont!

2009-04-07T13:29:00.002-04:00

MONTPELIER, Vt. — Vermont on Tuesday became the fourth state to legalize gay marriage _ and the first to do so with a legislature's vote.

The House recorded a dramatic 100-49 vote _ the minimum needed _ to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto. Its vote followed a much easier override vote in the Senate, which rebuffed the Republican governor with a vote of 23-5.

Vermont was the first state to legalize civil unions for same-sex couples and joins Connecticut, Massachusetts and Iowa in giving gays the right to marry. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.

Tuesday morning's legislative action came less than a day after Douglas issued a veto message saying the bill would not improve the lot of gay and lesbian couples because it still would not provide them rights under federal and other states' laws.

House Speaker Shap Smith's announcement of the vote brought an outburst of jubilation from some of the hundreds packed into the gallery and the lobby outside the House chamber, despite the speaker's admonishment against such displays.

Among the celebrants in the lobby were former Rep. Robert Dostis, D-Waterbury, and his longtime partner, Chuck Kletecka. Dostis recalled efforts to expand gay rights dating to an anti-discrimination law passed in 1992.

"It's been a very long battle. It's been almost 20 years to get to this point," Dostis said. "I think finally, most people in Vermont understand that we're a couple like any other couple. We're as good and as bad as any other group of people. And now I think we have a chance to prove ourselves here on forward that we're good members of our community."

Filipino Domestic Helpers in HK

2009-04-03T13:30:00.001-04:00

MANILA, Philippines - A congresswoman yesterday called on a Hong Kong magazine to apologize to the Philippine government for offensive and defamatory comments on Filipinos in an article on the country’s claim over the Spratly islands which China also claims.

Akbayan Rep. Risa Hontiveros voiced strong protest over the article of Chinese writer Chip Tsao published in the HK Magazine of the Asia City Publishing Group, where he called the Philippines a “nation of servants.”

In his article, Tsao protested the Philippine claim over the Spratlys, urging his compatriots not to bow to the Philippines because there are “more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong.”

“As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter,” Tsao said in his article.

He also mentioned that he employs a Filipina domestic helper named Louisa and warned her that should a war erupt, “I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day.”

“With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings,” Tsao added.

“I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China,” Tsao wrote.

The Chinese writer likewise said the Philippines should stop threatening China.

“The Philippines may have a Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout ‘China, Madam/Sir’ loudly whenever they hear the word ‘Spratly.’ They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout ‘Long Live Chairman Mao,’ at the sight of portrait (sic) of our Great leader during the Cultural Revolution,” Tsang said in his article.

Hontiveros took strong offense at this and said the magazine should apologize immediately.

“This disgusting, derogatory, and vile remark can only come from dim-witted and mediocre writing. The magazine should apologize straightaway. The article reflects the kind of attitude that promotes abuses against Filipina workers,” Hontiveros said.

She said Tsao’s story should not have been published, owing to its defamatory nature characterized by racial discrimination against Filipinos in general, and domestic helpers in particular.

“Chip Tsao should find another profession. He should leave the Spratlys issue to the diplomats and writing to real writers because clearly he has neither competence nor talent in foreign affairs and in writing,” Hontiveros added.

“When you make fun of a particular group, you expose them to abuses. Wittingly or unwittingly, you end up supporting acts of intolerance and abuses,” she added.

“Filipina domestic workers should hold a one-day strike to tell the likes of Chip Tsao who’s the real master of the HK economy. If all Filipino workers in HK would strike, the HK economy would grind to a halt without us having to invade the territory,” she said.

She said Filipinos are not asking for political correctness, just professional treatment.

“Domestic work is a decent job. It’s not just done by hired Filipina domestic workers, it has also been the function of mothers of all nationality, in Hong Kong and China and elsewhere. It should be treated with respect,” she said, adding that by insulting Filipina domestic workers Tsao has also insulted his own mother.

HAHAHAHAHA!

2009-04-01T04:07:00.004-04:00

Standing motionless in the shower this morning, letting the water just cascade over my head down my body, I had a realization. The worst thing about dating isn't getting rejected. It's allowing yourself to hope. Hope is the absolutely worst thing you can do when you're dating. Oh, I know hope is supposed to be this great sustaining emotion. Everybody always says, "Don't lose hope." Fuck that. Hope sucks. It's because I hope so hard that the disappointment is always so great.

It's about time I simply accepted the fact that there is no one out there waiting for me. Mr. Right doesn't exist.

- Men Who Love Men by William J. Mann

Hope sucks. It never fails. Whenever I start hoping, everything just starts crumbling down, everything fails. Its actually starting to be funny now. I used to get depressed about all those failed dates and prospective love interests, but I guess after it has happened to you a dozen gazillion times, you kinda feel numb already. Almost dead inside. And it becomes funny. And I just laugh.

Woohoo. So much fun. I don't really know why it hasn't happened yet. I tried going out on dates, putting myself out there, not looking, tried hooking up, laying low, and all sorts of different styles, still there's no one. I really feel that there is no one out there for me anymore. I am thinking that my soul mate, the one true love, my partner in life does not exist anymore. By some weird twist of fate, i was left out and was missed in that careful planning of pairs.

Hope sucks.

Enough.

2009-03-19T15:57:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a mess. To borrow lines from Project Runways 2008 Winner, Christian Siriano, it was a "hot tranny mess!"

Woke up late. Wasn't feeling well. Had to bring my friend from Boston to LAX. Traffic was bad (as usual). Work was overwhelming from start to finish. Had a late night meeting until 9pm. When I got home, the house was also a mess. There were unwashed dishes in the sink. Empty bottles and plastic containers were all over the place. Trash was overflowing and is started to stink. At the same time, I had to clean my room. Do 3 full loads of laundry and work on my event on Saturday.

SO, i started to tackle them one at a time. Put in my first load of laundry, which are my sheets and pillow cases, followed by whites then coloreds. Tidied up a bit in the house. Then arranged the recycling. And then washed the dishes. As everything was going well, i dropped a bowl in one of the plates and broke it. To further mess up things, I cut myself right between the thumb and the pointer finger (ouch). And then people started dropping out from my event which is two days from today. Yey!

So after I finished clearing the clutter in the living room, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, folding my clothes, cleaning my room, throwing the trash, walking and feeding my dog, putting away the recycling, i showered, watched porn and jerked off.

And everything was fine.

It is one of those nights...

2009-02-23T02:38:00.004-05:00

Some nights one can't really help but think that it would surely be a whole lot better if there is someone special to talk to and for that someone to tell you, to promise you that its ok and everything will be better in the morning. this is one of those nights.

im not sure what triggered this feeling. but it has been happening more often now. i guess this is what everyone was saying. you'd know when you are ready. when you really want it to happen. when it is the right time. of course this is just a self analysis. a theory, a hypothesis. it could just be the bucket of popcorn i munched on at the movies tonight. or the extra large diet coke that i slurped on the entire night, or as what a wise friend who was sitting next to me tonight said, its diabetes in a bottle. well, whatever it is, i know it has been so long that i have been analyzing and re-assessing every single feeling and thought.

it might be a heartache world out there. and i have always voiced out my resentments, bitterness and jaded point of view. deep inside, there always that hope that it could, it would happen again.

Words of Wisdom from John Mayer

2009-02-20T17:34:00.001-05:00

I RARELY post celebrity news, but i just had to post this:

"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie," he said. "I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left – just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, 'You greedy mother-cker, I've got nothing for you.'"

The Other People of Color

2009-02-20T13:01:00.001-05:00

Asians are considered racial minorities, but there is very little effort to include their people, customs, and or specific issues within the context of LGBT organizations. They are overshadowed by other races and rarely taken into account.

In a survey taken among LGBTQ Asians it was discovered that...

"Nearly every respondent (98 percent) had experienced at least one form of discrimination and/or harassment in their lives.

Nearly all respondents (89 percent) agreed that homophobia and/or transphobia are problems within the broader API community.

78 percent of respondents agreed that API LGBT people experience racism within the predominantly white LGBT community.

Only 50 percent of respondents said that English was their native language. Yet nearly all LGBT informational and advocacy materials are produced in English." (Asian Nation).

Queer Asians are typically caught in a crossroads facing lack of acceptance from the broader heterosexual Asian community, while also struggling for understanding and acknowledgment from within the white dominated queer community.

Westernized Stereotypical Thinking of Asian Sexuality:

Many people perceive Asian women to be soft, delicate, thin, and submissive in nature. They are thought to be sex-objects for the lust of others. To the contrary many Asian men are thought to be devoid of any sexuality, they often go unaccounted for under the false stereotype that Asian men have a smaller penis size. Asian men are either discounted or considered "exotic" and are also objectified. These stereotypes about Asian sex and sexuality play into both the straight and gay communities and are wrong and serve as a misrepresentation of the wide spectrum of people who are Asian.

Offensive Terminology:

Rice Queen - A term for older white gay men attracted to Asians, assumed to be desperate and fetishizing Asians.

Potato Queen - Gay Asian men who date older rich white males.

Sticky Rice - Two Asians who are a couple, they are stereotyped as being obsessed with all things Asian and only sticking with one another.

Panda Hugger - A gay male who prefers Asian men.

The Asian Asexual Dilemna:

Eastern cultures tend to be very quiet about sexuality in general which creates a problem for all sexual minorities. In particular within Asian families is a strong sense of family structure and desire to carry on the legacy of the family. An Asian who is asexual likely faces more challenges if they choose either not to reproduce or to settle down with a partner altogether. There is even a joking yet offensive facebook group called Asians Against Asexuality.

The Transgender/Intersex Asian Experience:

The Eastern world has a long history of embracing transgender behavior as well as people who have ambigious genitalia, and many cultures regard trans people and intersex people as "third gendered" and they hold their place in society. In recent decades with Western ideology influencing Asian nations, there has been increased discrimination and misunderstanding directed towards trans people. Places like Thailand are considered the transsexual haven of the world, but even there recently a battle was waged to overturn a blood ban on queer men.

While it is quite possible that transgender and intersex identity is more prevalent within the Asian world, this group goes unaccounted for and has very little research and/or resources available as they pertain to trans Asians.

Quotable Quotes

2009-02-09T13:28:00.000-05:00

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”

– Lao Tzu

GLBTQIA - Seriously?

2009-02-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, Inter sexed and Ally!

I LEGO NY!

2009-02-04T03:00:00.005-05:00

I'm Back

2009-01-21T02:21:00.004-05:00

It's been a looong ass time since I last posted something on my blog. Yet, its quite funny (is it really?) that the stories and posts haven't changed much at all. Didn't change actually. Not a single bit.

What do I mean? If you've been following my blog, then I would think you'd know what I mean. Of course I wouldn't think there are a lot of you out there who just continuously check on my blog every 4 minutes just to check for any new posts, so I would elaborate.

I moved to Los Angeles, California about a month ago. I say, I needed to conquer LA and redeem myself. I also say that there are some unfinished business that I have to take care of. True. But its also this untameable restlessness that I have. Seems like I am still trying to find my place in this universe. Searching for what I want. Looking for that certain something that would finally let me settle down.

And then there's that issue on Love. Ha! I should never call it by that name. As I type the letters L-O-V-E i give it meaning, I give it truth and I make it seem like its something real. And even though I have been jaded and bitter these past years, I still continue to hope that it could happen, that I, too can experience it all over again.

Should at this point, this posting would seem all too depressing, I urge you to stop reading coz believe me you, it would get worse.

So Person #1. I thought (why do i usually start my sentences with these words?) I finally met a great match. Same age as me, cute, takes care of his body, decent job, sweet as hell, very caring and an all around good guy. The way we met was something short of a hollywood movie. We met on new year's eve and we shared a sweet kiss at the strike of midnight - 2009. Great way to start the year! But we weren't really connecting. Its hard to explain but the chemistry really wasn't there. I gave it a chance but I really don't think it would work.

Person #2. My roomie's friend stayed over at our apartment for a weekend. He's cute. But I really didn't pay attention coz I was still trying to get this other person out of my system. Then I was informed that my roomie had to go to dinner and that I would be his designated chauffeur for the night. And we started talking. Great conversation always gets my rocks off. I was lured into his being. And knowing that he'll be here for just a few days, the entire experience just took off in some sort of fast and furious episode. But yeah, he doesn't live in the city. And yeah he's leaving for another country for med school (yeah, med school sister!). So, yeah that wouldn't work.

Person #3. Let's try to do this in one run-on sentence. Guy from New York who I totally fell in love with called me (happiness) but he has a long term boyfriend (sad) broke up with his boyfriend of 7 years (hopeful) and then informed me that he met someone already that he is head over heels in love with now (devastated) and then has me to thank because he met him through a friend of mine who brought the guy to my send off party (what?!). Yeah. Enough said. Oh wait, just one question. Why not me? Oh wait, another question. When will it be my turn?

Person #4. There's this guy that I was corresponding with on match.com for a while now. Seems like we've been getting along real well. He's cute, nice profile, nice pictures, great job (cardiologist) and based from our conversations, has an awesome personality. After several email exchanges, I decided to ask him if he wants to meet up. With hands trembling, I was still hopeful. After everything that happened, and I mean everything from the past 5 years, why would this one be any different? Still I sent him the email. Would you like to guess what his response is? He got a job in Kansas.

Yey! So nope, there is no hope. Imma gonna die single.

Playboy Quote

2009-01-06T12:29:00.002-05:00

"Everything I learned about love, I learned from the movies. The reality is because I was not shown affection, I escaped into an alternate universe, and it came right out of the movies. Love for me is defined almost exclusively in terms of romantic love as defined by the films of my childhood."

- Playboy honcho Hugh Hefner tells the L.A. Times

Holiday Sale!

2008-12-27T18:31:00.000-05:00

Dolphins Rock!

2008-12-27T18:28:00.003-05:00

Dolphin
Genera and species: Tursiops truncatus
Collective Term: A school of dolphins

Description
Dolphins are those tanned, fit, and beautiful people who populate the background scenes of Baywatch. While they can give the impression that they're not the brightest lights in the harbor, their sun- bleached hair belies a fierce intelligence. This misperception stems from the fact that they've chosen a life of hedonism rather than succumbing to the rat race of their land-bound cousins.

Dolphins are annoyingly healthy; eating and drinking with abandon and never becoming overweight. Undoubtedly it's their active lifestyles that keep them so trim, but their good genes have something to do with it too; for even though dolphins subsist n junk food, their hair is shiny and their skin always glossy.

Generally, dolphins are peaceful and gregarious individuals, almost never displaying open aggression. When accosted, they'll swim away rather than engage in negative behavior and are always on the lookout for friends to join them in recreation. They love to host elaborate parties or social events and take their fun seriously.

Dolphin were not designed for manual labor. Their bodies lack the skillful hands of the land mammal personalities, but their intelligence and social abilities give them advantages in people-oriented careers.

Dolphins are a decidedly lusty lot and never consider the consequences of their behavior before plunging into relationships. Their high level of self-esteem gives them confidence that things will turn out well -- and they usually do . . . for the dolphin that is. For it's usually the dolphin that brings a relationship to its end, for the same reason every time: there's simply too many fish in the sea. No hard feelings of course, it's just time to move on to sample more of life's delicious bouquet.
Saying no to a sexual invitation would simply never occur to a dolphin. It's not that they're indiscriminate or anything, but they have a deep respect for chutzpah and wouldn't want to snub anyone with the gumption to put him or herself on the line.

Love Freakin Love

2008-12-17T19:42:00.001-05:00

According to relationship experts at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh, romantic comedies give people unrealistic ideas about love and sex, and cause them to "fail to communicate with their partner." Here's more:

- Psychologists at the family and personal relationships laboratory at the university studied 40 top box office hits between 1995 and 2005, and identified common themes which they believed were unrealistic.

- The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counselors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds. The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realize."

Do you think this is true? Is real-life romance a big ol' letdown? Sure, lots of people like the idea of a perfect man or "happily ever after," but does that mean we're all unable to separate fantasy from reality?

Also, have you ever had an experience that could have been right out of a romantic movie?

I rest my case.

Goodbye Pumpkin...

2008-11-27T10:29:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends,

Last night my cat, Pumpkin died. She flew with my very good friend and a fellow cat lover to Los Angeles last week and she was adjusting to life in sunny California very well. But last night, an unfortunate accident happened. She got stuck under a lazy boy and got strangled. She was rushed to the emergency room by my friend, the doctor administered CPR but it was too late. They found no signs of broken bones or even blood. So I am hoping that she didn't suffer too long.

She will be cremated today and her ashes will be with me by the time I get to Los Angeles. I am deeply saddened that I won't be able to see her anymore. She went through a lot when I rescued her 2 years ago. But I would like to believe that I gave her a happy home. She was surrounded by my friends who truly adored her as well. She is an awesome cat, with a very unique personality. Her trademark purring sound will surely be missed.

Goodbye Pumpkin. I am sure she is now in cat heaven where she can jump to high places and do all the bird watching that she wants!

A Message from the Universe

2008-11-11T10:53:00.001-05:00

What can you now do,
that you'd like to do,
that you aren't doing?

Yes to Chicken Rights!

2008-11-05T15:28:00.001-05:00

Yesterday:

-Colorado defeated a measure to define life as beginning at fertilization

-South Dakota struck down a nearly comprehensive abortion ban

-Missouri approved a clean energy measure

-Washington approved physician-assisted suicide

-Michigan not only legalized medical marijuana, but loosened restrictions on stem-cell research

...and...

-California approved a gay marriage ban?

But hey, at least y'all voted to ban chickens from being kept in cramped cages.

So let me get this straight...chicken rights? Yes. GLBT rights? No?

I am an unwavering supporter of animal rights, but come on, this is ridiculous and unacceptable. I'm at a loss to see how the same electorate could approve both of these measures on the same ballot.

I am not familiar with the detailed politics of the Prop 8 struggle, but I want to learn what happened here because this has to be undone. Prop 8 is a black mark on my experience of this election. As much as I am elated today, I am equally saddened by the news coming from California.

Gypsy!

2008-09-26T19:59:00.008-04:00

The awesomeness of Patty Lupone just surged through the stage when me and my friend saw the musical Gypsy. There are no words to describe the energy that this wonderful actress just exuded all throughout the show! Its hard to imagine how she keeps it up as she does over 12 shows a week! Damn! She's awesome. The show is awesome! One of the best musicals I have ever seen on Broadway. Even though we got last minute tickets which are super close to the stage wherein we can see her saliva spitting out on those really dramatic scenes, it was still amazing. I would love to watch it again!

Sucks in the City

2008-09-26T19:41:00.005-04:00

I am stuck at the airport for another hour, so I decided to purchase an hour of internet usage while waiting for my delayed flight to San Francisco. Looking around, I try to do a little sight seeing. When I realized that everyone around me is either straight, fat or not really my type. Most probably, they are not New Yorkers!

I was reading an article from The New Yorker or Time Out New York or some magazine that I picked up from this $18 haircut place in China Town (yeah freakin $18!!!). The article claimed that New York City has the highest quality of singles in the entire world! Yah, isn't that the main reason why I moved to NYC in the first place? Err, nope. Not really. But I just found it funny that NYC has its claim in that. Funny because I am still single. Ok, I must warn my readers or blog buddies as they call it (yeah all 7 of them!) that this is once again going to be one of my usual bitter missives. So here goes.

The article just reiterated that there is an overabundance of "high quality singles" everywhere you go. Considering there is that concept of NYC being highly interactive as compared to other cities. As soon as you leave your apartment, one would walk to the subway, ride the subway and then walk to work. In that 30-45 minute journey, you would have met your soul mate! See how easy that was?!?! But no.

I call upon my principle of "the next best thing." Yeah there could be that overabundance of high quality singles, but because of the overly high quality, one would never settle on that awesomeness of an individual sitting across you on the 1 train. Why would you? The next best thing might be in the next train that you go into during your transfer. What greatly sucks is that when I go on dates, we may be having the greatest time together, but more often than not, both of us might be thinking that the other 2 million awesome people are waiting for someone as awesome as myself! Great huh?

Also, NYC singles stay single longer as the article says. We focus more on our careers. Since we are not afraid that we would run out of awesome singles running around the city. Let's just focus on making ourselves more awesome by having an awesome apartment, awesome body and the most awesomest career!

Boom. I'm still single in the city where there are a billion other singles. So I ask, is it really a geography thing?

WTF?

2008-09-25T17:51:00.004-04:00

Key features of Sweet Release Hard Apple for Men:

Changes the Sexual Taste and Scent of the Male Body Secretion:
If you want to enhance your oral sex life and surprise your lover with a fantastic new experience, then Sweet Release masculine formula is for you! Sweet Release is a dietary supplement, when taken twice a day, will within 7 to 28 days change the scent and taste of your semen. Your semen will change from an unpleasant salty flavor to a delicious apple flavor. Sweet Release is a 100% natural herbal and totally vegetarian food supplement specifically developed for men. There is not a product like this anywhere!

Health Benefits for Men:
Our saying says it all: "Come for the sex! Stay for the Health!" We have combined health benefits into Sweet Release, giving it a unique combination nowhere else ever seen.

* Anti-bacterial properties

* Promotes lower cholesterol

* Helps the bodies immune system

* Omega 6 and Omega 3 oil balances

* Helps in the development of healthy dream states

Utilizing natural fruits like cranberry, apple, mango, blueberry, cherry and many others, we are able to create products that are beneficial to your health and 100% natural. As most people are aware of the benefits of the cranberry, it should come as no surprise that the health benefits of Sweet Release are derived using fruit powders like cranberry and others. By applying a proprietary process to fruits, we are able to make Crandextrin, the active ingredient in Sweet Release masculine formula. This process allows us to effectively harvest high concentrations of compounds from the fruit without destroying the health benefits and makes them bio available to you. The result of this process is that Sweet Release is one of the finest sensual nutritional supplements in the world.

Why do I even bother?

2008-09-16T16:15:00.003-04:00

They say that you would find the right person for you when you least expect it. That you shouldn't go looking for love because its love that will find you. That in the most unexpected time and place you would find your special someone. Uh-huh!

They also said that they found the remains of Big Foot and it turned out to be a big hoax!

So why do I even bother to believe that someday it will happen? Why do I even bother to hope that maybe this time it will be different. Why do I even bother to imagine a future of pure bliss with someone beside me?

I am not asking for too much. I know I am not asking for something impossible. I am just asking for someone special. Of course I have certain qualities that I would want to expect from my special someone like a decent job, a good personality, great conversationalist, height and weight proportionate, clean fingernails and someone presentable. Quite simple right? I would think that those are the very basic of all the basic "requirements" that most of us would expect?

Its pathetic that some night when I can't fall asleep, my mind wanders and I try to imagine happy thoughts like being back home in the Philippines with my parents and my brother. And then I would push my wandering mind to imagining the possibilities of me being in a relationship, of happy moments together, of things we could do together. But the pathetic sad part is that the persons is always faceless. And I would just try to put the face of this stranger that I saw on the subway so that at least I could complete my dream.

Yup, dreams. I am inclined to think that those pretend scenarios would just remain dreams. Although I've always been comfortable on being single, and I've always mentioned that I am indeed ok being single, it still holds true that life will be better and happier if there's that special someone beside me to celebrate victories, to lend a shoulder to cry on, to hold onto when I'm down in the dumps or just to hang out with.

*sigh*

Birthday Blues

2008-09-10T14:53:00.003-04:00

In two days I will be turning 31. There. I've said it (or typed it). It wasn't so hard anymore, specially after the big 3-0. I wonder if it will be more difficult for the big 4-0. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Wow, 31 huh? It seems like it was a far fetched notion that I will be getting older and older every year. That every year my age would add another year. But I guess its one of those things that are inevitable.

I went for a job interview today. I wore my new Emporio Armani suit. As I was walking on 6th Avenue here in New York City, I felt a certain surge of responsibility and respect wearing grown up clothes. Since I am currently working for a Jeans / Fashion company, I usually come in wearing casual clothes. I can virtually wear anything I want, may it be jeans, t-shirts or even shorts. But today, since I had the interview, i wore my suit. I don't know if it was because of the birthday coming up, but I felt that I needed to grow up as I am growing old. I felt the need to make some major changes in my life as I turn another year older. I felt the need to become successful in the field that I really want to thrive in. Not to say that I haven't grown up, or that I didn't make any changes in my life since my teenage years, but I still don't feel that I have been successful on any of my endeavors -- especially my career.

It sucks to grow old. I don't like birthdays anymore. During my younger years (ugh! younger years?!?!), I've always been excited to celebrate my birthday as it would constitute food, presents and chocolate cake. As I grow older, the basic components might still be there, but there's also a need to add on achievements, accomplishments, future plans, family, etc.

I don't want to grow old. I've already grown up.

Sticky Rice

2008-09-10T14:33:00.002-04:00

I've always been proud of being Asian, more so being Filipino. I was one of the lucky few people who ventured into America with a strong hold of my Filipino origin and nationalism. Although at some points, I have driven myself to some western idiosyncrasies. I may have been drawn into the American accent, a little bit of the American lifestyle such as food, clothing, etc. But deep inside I've always felt very Asian and very Filipino.

I am also proud to say that I am attracted to my fellow Asians. As I typed the word "proud" it felt a little bit weird to be "proud" of such a normal occurrence. Apparently, its not that normal to be an Asian man and be attracted to other Asian men. After coming out in college, I began to meet other queer Asian men, whose preferences were more towards white men. What was annoying to me was that they always had to feel apologetic towards their preferences for me. One guy, who had also dated primarily white men, said in all sincerity, “Wow, that’s so cool that your first boyfriend was Filipino. That is so… revolutionary!” I remember looking at him and wondering what planet he stepped off of, and why he felt he had to justify his preferences to me. I can see where he was going — that “Loving Asian men is a revolutionary act,” especially if you’re another Asian American man who’s been taught to believe that white men are the pinnacle of desirability.

Its sad to note that more often than not, Asian men were simply seen as gold-diggers, with small dicks who are exclusively bottoms, and most importantly, who can’t be trusted. Fuck with us and we’ll take all your shit. We couldn’t speak English fluently, nor be fluent in American culture. The issue of Asian men being submissive was such a derogatory remark for me.

As I was having a discussion with a good friend of mine regarding this topic, we vowed to never consider changing who we are just to be in a relationship. We realized that speaking for ourselves, most men who has this negative notion of the stereotypical asian, are intimidated by us. Asian men who are highly intellectual, having a successful career, independent, good looking and in some ways - Americanized.

As I try to remember the main point of this blog, which was an outlet to pour out my emotions as I look for love in this ever so complicated world, it seems like there are more and more aspects of the search that needs to be considered. Living the homosexual lifestyle is difficult in itself, add in the issue of race, religion, sexual preference, etc., then it becomes a tangled web of complications. I wonder if I would ever find true love again.

Vintage Clothes!!!

2008-09-03T11:40:00.005-04:00

I came across Stock Vintage (143 E. 13th St., New York, NY 10003) in a magazine. They have the ultimate collection of vintage clothes, from Ringer T-Shirts, Leather Jackets to an enormous collection of quality leather boots! Not to sound like a shopping addict, which I am definitely not, I rushed to their store right after work to check it out. I was in vintage heaven. The store has great character, the decor was authentic and tastefully done and even the smell of the store blended in with the entire scheme of things.

Of course the shopping trip was not very easy. Just like all other vintage stores, there won't be a promise of the right size, fit or color. One would have to literally dig into the entire inventory to find a great buy. I think I have that skill well covered. LOL! So I looked around, tried on a dozen different things, then stumbled upon an awesome pair of authentic 1970's black leather boots. Intricate design, amazing leather, great fit, and worn out in the most fashionable way. Yep, of course I bought it.

Yey.

Oreo and Pumpkin!

2008-09-03T11:38:00.003-04:00

Yey Birthday...But why am i not excited?

2008-09-03T11:20:00.004-04:00

I recently met a couple and their 8 year old son. I immediately grew very fond of their son as he was very smart and very adorable. I recently sent him a Speed Racer car as I know that its his favorite movie. His mom told me that he was ecstatic upon receiving the gift. He was doing a dozen cartwheels per minute! It was a random gift and it cost me $12.00 to make the kid very happy.

As the years passed by, I realized that it gets harder and harder for me to be happy. I normally can be amused by the tiniest things and sometimes really absurd events. I am not sure if its because I am getting older and that I have experienced a lot more emotions than when I was a kid. Pain. Hurt. Sorrow. Love. Failure. Success. Or have i turned cynical and accuse the universe of conspiring with the elements to make it more difficult for me to be happy. I don't know.

I am turning 31 this September 12. According to my friends, it is my last calendar year. Next year, my age can't be found in the calendar anymore. I am officially old. Although I don't feel old. Some would say, I don't look old. I still get carded whenever I go to clubs or bars! Thanks to my parents for that (oh and a tons of moisturizing products from Kiehls!) It's hard not to think of what has happened in those 31 years of existence. Then I realize that it was mostly and generally a good 31 years of my life. I should be happy.

I will. I promise.

Cool Site

2008-08-28T11:14:00.003-04:00

I've discovered an excellent site that I want to share with you guys.

DialAHuman is a website with an extensive database of phone numbers and button combos that give you, yes, living breathing humans, so you can bypass that creepy fake voice telling you to press numbers for lord knows what.

Quotable Quotes

2008-08-28T11:09:00.002-04:00

We write because we believe the human spirit cannot be tamed and should not be trained.

~ Nikki Giovanni, Grammy-nominated American poet, activist and author

Summer 2008 Extravaganza - Los Angeles, CA

2008-08-25T16:23:00.009-04:00

Summer 2008 Extravaganza - Chicago, IL

2008-08-25T16:12:00.010-04:00

And the Video:

I just got $100 richer!

2008-08-22T14:09:00.006-04:00

So I've bared my all on stage for some plays that I did in Los Angeles. I also got tied up, handcuffed, made out with a guy and jumped up and down naked. A couple of months ago, I was part of one of the floats at the Chicago Gay Pride where I was dancing holding a big bamboo pole wearing a blue shiny loin cloth. Nice huh? Oh and the video is available on youtube! LOL!

Last night, a friend of mine told me about this drag queen show at Therapy, one of the gay bars here in New York dubbed as "So You Think You Can Go-Go?" He was raving about the show and since I had nothing to do last night, I happily accepted his invite.

To cut the long story short, I am adding to the list above. I can now say that I won a Go-Go Dancing competition. LOL! Luckily, there were no videos to commemorate this event. I got a free drink, a free hat and $100 smackin dollars! Yey!

Paolo and NN

2008-08-22T13:03:00.011-04:00

After years of dating and numerous break ups, a mixture of loving, fighting, crying, hugging and lots of eating, my very good friends, Paolo and Nina got married last August 17, 2008 in Manila, Philippines. Congratulations! I couldn't think of a more perfect match! And I am not saying that in a very generic way. Coz, sometimes it just seems like the right thing to say at weddings, since y'know they got married already and all, but with Paolo and NN, they are really perfect for each other!

I met NN through Alex. She's the kind of person that you either easily fall in love with or just absolutely detest. She's very talkative, she can be very loud and she speaks her mind without hesitation. On the other hand, she has the heart of an angel that would love and care for a friend in the most unconditional way possible. I also love that she can be the most vulnerable person in the universe at one point and be Wonder Woman (plus size) in a split second.

I met Paolo in Don Bosco Makati. He was still a young kid when I got to know him. We weren't actually that close. I can't even remember if we interacted at all back in school. But as fate may have it, we met again when we both worked for Ancilla. With Paolo, you can feel at ease even if you just stepped into the group two seconds ago. He has this skill of welcoming you in such a way that you'd wish he was your best friend.

Thereby, two absolutely different people, with the utmost opposite characteristics, joined together to form the inevitable perfect match.

I would like to share my letter to them:

Dear Paolo and NN,

Congratulations! I have yet to see the photos and watch the videos, but from what I heard, the ceremony was perfect, the groom was dashing and the bride, not just blushing but also glowing! Although, even without the photos and the videos, I know these are all true. In my mind, I have imagined the two of you getting married, saying your vows and of course gorging on your cake! LOL! I'm sure it was perfect!

I am sorry that I missed everything, as I couldn't fly back to the Philippines just yet. As the both of your might've been asking why I haven't been a willing participant in the preparations and even the video montage from friends who couldn't make it, I am sorry for that. It's just that it hurts to know that I won't be able to witness the wedding of two very good friends of mine. I remember during our Starbucks rendezvous in Greenhills, where we talk about wedding plans and crazy stunts we would pull off. It would've been great to be there and be part of such a great event.

What's even more surprising is NN actually got married! And to Paolo! LOL! Like what I said before, you guys couldn't be more perfect for each other. The phrase "you complete each other" seems awfully true for you guys. Paolo, as ever mister polite, gentleman, soft spoken, God-fearing, all together nice guy! And NN, well, NN is just the way she is! LOL!

Congratulations once again and I wish the both of you all the love in the world! I can't wait for a little Pao or Little NN!

I love you guys!

- Francis

Here is their wedding video, and I was informed that this was an on-site video, which means it was shot during the wedding and was put together just in time to be shown at the reception! Awesome job! I promise, I didn't cry!

Where's My Cellphone?

2008-08-20T15:48:00.000-04:00

If you ever misplace your phone and don't have a friend nearby to give it a ring, a site called Where's My Cell Phone will call your phone so you can actually hear it hiding under that pillow. I guess you could even use it if you lose your phone and don't have a landline to ring your phone, although fingers crossed someone picks it up and answers it! Keep in mind, this site won't work its magic if your phone is on silent or vibrate!

Spring Awakening

2008-08-19T17:02:00.004-04:00

Its been a while since I last saw a Broadway musical. Its actually weird since I live and work in the city. And the fact that I love theatre. To be honest, I should really go out and watch more of the shows on broadway. But sometimes it just hurts to sit and watch other people perform. It just sucks that I couldn't be a part of any theatre production anymore. Since I have the full time job.

Thanks to NYC visitors, I am sometimes forced to do tourist activities. And one of them is watching broadway shows. Boy, I was glad to have been forced to watch Spring Awakening. Man! It was an awesome experience! It is highly recommended!

Jeff's NYC Trip!

2008-08-19T17:01:00.004-04:00

I hope you had a GRAND time in NYC Jeff!

I dedicate this post to COLDMAN!

2008-08-19T16:55:00.004-04:00

A good friend of mine from the Philippines visited NYC recently. As we were going around the city, one of our main stops was in Central Park. As I was admiring the beauty of the park, I didn't know that he took my picture. When he sent this to me, I just remembered one of the few bloggers that became my friend. All of his shots are like this. LOL. I know it won't make sense to anyone, but I know it would for him. So there... to Coldman!

Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers Anyone?

2008-08-19T16:41:00.006-04:00

First there was Chocolate Covered Bacon...yes! deep fried bacon dipped in chocolate!

Now, since there is such a GREAT need for more fatty foods, we present to you -- Krispy Kreme Cheeseburgers!!!

I read somewhere that they serve this at the Google cafeteria in NYC! Yum!!!

De La Salle University Alumni Association

2008-08-19T16:18:00.003-04:00

Yep, I was coerced by my fellow La Sallians to leave my uber comfortable and air conditioned apartment and face the scorching New York summer heat to join the DLSU Summer Picnic. With much hesitation, I realized that it could be a good occasion to wear my John Varvatos khaki pants with suspenders. I just hoped that there would be some hotties in the park.

Wait. Stop. I sound like a dumb blonde. Let me start again.

It was great to finally be a part of an Alumni Association from my university. As me and my friends joined them for the annual summer picnic at Central Park, it was a chance to socialize and enjoy the wonderful summer weather.

There. That's better. Untrue and not so sincere, but better!

Barney's Warehouse Sale 2008

2008-08-19T15:46:00.011-04:00

Ahh...it seems sad that my main form of enjoyment nowadays is going shopping. I find it exhilarating to find great bargains from the big name designers to the sidewalk vendors selling eccentric pieces of anything. So what better way to shake the nerves and pump up the blood in my system than to go the legendary BARNEY'S WAREHOUSE SALE!!!

I sent a good friend of mine a text message saying that I just got out of the warehouse sale and this is what he sent me - "somebody should have policed you! i hope the damage wasn't too bad!" LOL!

Thankfully, after a couple of hours, the damage wasn't at all that bad. I am not sure, but they probably haven't gotten out most of the good stuff since I didn't find much that I liked. And the sale items weren't that cheap. I just got an amazing Thom Brown crisp white shirt and a John Varvatos brown argyle vest. Yey!

Twilight by Stephenie Mayer

2008-08-15T11:59:00.002-04:00

"Twilight...It's the safest time of day for us, the easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way...the end of another day, the return of the night..."

It's been a while since I've encountered a novel that gripped me so bad that I am getting migraines from trying to read in every imaginable place in New York City. I heard about this book that would challenge JK Rowling's "Harry Potter" series. This might sound incredibly dorky, but I couldn't fathom anyone being compared to JK Rowling. So I downloaded "Twilight" by Stephenie Mayer on my new Amazon Kindle (i love the kindle!). I didn't start reading it until after a few days that I downloaded it as I was distracted by some other unimportant things like work and dates. LOL!

As I start reading the book, I just couldn't let go. To say that it was an eternal page-turner would be an understatement. It mixes the thrill of a teenage romance novel, and the modern day "Gossip Girl" like stories with the excitement and mystery of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I was getting goose bumps from both the chill of the romance and the mystery of the unknown.

"Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife — between desire and danger. Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite."

I can't wait to see the movie and read the other novels!

Post Secret

2008-08-11T15:43:00.000-04:00

Emporio Armani Suit

2008-08-08T11:53:00.004-04:00

I don't own a suit. I didn't think I would need one since my work is generally a t-shirt and jeans kinda company. For meetings, I need to wear a dress shirt and typically a nice pair of designer jeans (since we are a jeans company to start with!). But then, as I realize that I am indeed a grown up man, I would be needing a suit for more formal occasions. Yeah I have blazers and sport coats which I also pair with jeans. But I don't have the real thing.

Two things that I found out while buying a suit. First, damn, they're expensive! And if you go to some cheap ass store for mediocre suits, they'll fit you like the clothes that Eminem wears. Loose and baggy all over. Second, my oh so sexy body type isn't so much common here in the US, so they carry big sizes. I found out that a size 36 is an ok fit for me, but a size 34 would fit like a glove!

And so the search begins. Last night, while browsing through online stores, I found an Emporio Armani suit which looks amazing. I thought to myself it would be expensive, but to my surprise, it was on sale! And then I said to myself, I bet they won't have a size 36, but I was wrong, not only did they have a size 36 but they also offer a size 34!!! So within half a second, my credit card was out and before I knew it, i hit the button that said ORDER!

Hurrah!

Looking for Love - A Full Time Job!

2008-08-08T11:35:00.002-04:00

Nancy Slotnick, dating coach and author of the book "Turn Your Cablight On -- Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less" claims that you can't expect love to find you these days.

“Many people don't make an effort to date and wonder why they're still single.”

Many people don't make an effort to date and wonder why they're still single. She recommends spending at least 15 hours a week looking for love like you would look for a new job. She recommends networking by going to events, online dating, and doing whatever it might take to meet someone special.

"WTF?!"

- Prince of Magic

Dita von Teese in Manila!

2008-08-07T12:06:00.003-04:00

Dita von Teese will be flying to MANILA, PHILIPPINES to the tune of 8 million pesos—whoa!! She will be there to attend the Venetian ball on Dr. Vicki Belo's birthday!

DANCING WITH FILIPINO MACHO DANCERS

MIDGET BOXING

11,000 Hits!

2008-08-05T23:40:00.002-04:00

Damn! All 6 of my readers are going on overtime clicking on my blog every 10 minutes! LOL!

Its actually very humbling that there are people who are interested in what's happening in my life. I know, there's a ton of nosy people in the world! LOL! I'm kidding! I really think that I've touched a very sensitive issue with my readers. This is the very rare, yet special occurrence of LOVE in our lives. In a way, having been single for almost 5 years is somewhat easy to bare knowing that there are people out there who share the same sentiments, tribulations and pains that I go through.

Thanks!

Check it out - Project Runway Philippines!

2008-08-04T11:37:00.000-04:00

No-Strings Relationships are IN!

2008-08-03T12:45:00.002-04:00

"No-strings relationships have helped cure me of love addiction. All my life I've been in long-term monogamous relationships. I had to break that pattern by not allowing myself to have a relationship for a year, stopping myself from committing to men. I haven't been celibate. I've had lots of dates and lots of sex, but I haven't been pushing to turn a date into a relationship. This has been a huge thing for me."

- Alanis Morissette

Damn! I look Good!

2008-08-01T15:31:00.008-04:00

Its one of those days.

My cleaning lady came today and I am expecting to come home to an immaculately clean apartment. I brought my babies, Oreo and Pumpkin to the groomer, so I know once I bring them home tonight, they will smell good. I was able to squeeze in an hour of working out during my lunch break, so I feel really pumped and hot and sexy (you get the picture!). LOL!

I know I look awesome today and I feel great about myself.

Time: Lunch Time
Location: Chinese Deli
Cast of Characters: Francis (F) - cute and amazingly hot Filipino boy
Chinese Deli Woman (CDW) - nosy but friendly cashier

CDW: Wow you look good today!

F: Thanks! I know.

CDW: Do you have a (pause and then almost a whisper) boyfriend?

F: Nope (nervous laughter)

CDW: Why no boyfriend?

F: Hahahaha! I don't know.

CDW: I know someone working in the building across the street. He's gay too. Very cute, didn't know he was gay before. I hook you up.

F: Promise?

CDW: Yeah. You look good together.

F: Ok. Thanks!

CDW: Bye

See! Even Chinese Deli Woman wants me to be in a relationship. Its just that the universe wants me to single forever! Bwahahahaha!

SkyDiving!

2008-07-31T23:35:00.003-04:00

I went skydiving sometime around end of 2007 in New England. Its crazy, i know. But it was just an exhilarating experience. I was telling everyone who asked me how it was that it was like you need to pee, poop, cum and vomit at the same time! I found my DVD of the jump and my friend Mikee, sent me the software to convert it to quicktime format. So here it is:

Where is this Boy's Parents?

2008-07-31T16:39:00.002-04:00

As opposed to this really cool kid...

Question?

2008-07-29T14:32:00.001-04:00

"Is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them?"

- The Love of Siam

Pumpkin & Oreo

2008-07-29T14:27:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning with my babies on the bed staring at me, waiting for me to wake up. I knew right away that it would be the awesomest day ever!

Yummy!

2008-07-29T14:25:00.004-04:00

Meeting the Boyfriend...

2008-07-29T14:05:00.005-04:00

I met someone amazing last January 2008. Can't really divulge a lot of information because he has a boyfriend. Nevertheless, we became close and spent some time together. Nope, nothing happened. It was just two people enjoying each other's company. Needless to say, being the hopeless romantic that I am, I envisioned a most dramatic Hollywood love story ending to this friendship. Uh huh, i thought that we'd fall madly, deeply in love with each other and we would live happily ever after.

I keep on forgetting that "happily ever after" does not exist. Because of course, they're still together and I actually spent time with them and even had dinner together. Geez. Now, my evil self went into maximum overdrive. I wanted to be my ever charming, fabulous, witty, funny and adorable self when we all meet up. I was thinking, this is my chance to show off!

But of course, the boyfriend was cute, equally charming, very sweet and I think one of the nicest guys I've ever met. My master plan crumbled to the ground and flushed through the drain, never to be seen again.

Oh well. Its inevitable. I will be single forever.

The Love of Siam

2008-07-28T12:21:00.006-04:00

I started corresponding with one of my many readers (all 5 of them!) who turns out to be a great blogger himself. He goes by the name of Coldman. We shared the same sentiments with life and love. I guess that's why we read each other's blog a lot. He shared with me a movie that he thought I would like. And boy was he right! Check out Coldman's Blog as well.

The Love of Siam is a 2007 Thai romantic-drama film, written and directed by Chookiat Sakveerakul. A multi-layered family drama, a controversial element of the story is a gay romance between two teenage boys.

Mew and Tong were neighbors and close friends in childhood. But after Tong's sister, Tang, disappeared, Tong's family moved away. The boys are reunited during their senior year of high school at Siam Square. The meeting stirs up old feelings that Mew has harbored since boyhood, his love for Tong.

The movie isn't your typical teenage gay movie. I think the gay romance is just a part of the charm of the movie. Aside from having cute actors, they are surprisingly good as I endured reading subtitles all throughout the movie. Add to the fact that I only watched this on youtube.com with 17 different clips!

Everyone knows that I am not emotional. And I rarely (almost never) cry when I watch movies! But this movie really hit the spot as it dealt with childhood pains, family drama and gay love.

Highly Recommended!

I think its going to be a great day today!

2008-07-24T09:44:00.002-04:00

You Have Got to Read This!

2008-07-23T14:55:00.000-04:00

A Positive Spin

When someone comes to me for advice, I often find myself telling them that no one has the power to make you angry, you can only give up that power. I also find myself giving advice that discusses the importance of knowing that you have complete control over your emotions. With this in mind, I find that I rarely take this advice for myself, and easily become hurt when someone does something to me. No matter how many times I give the advice, I find it hard to take it myself.

Yesterday, while being in a positively grumpy mood because I let a situation take control over my emotions, I began a conversation about positive mindfulness, and present awareness. There is an Japanese saying that states “Everywhere you go, there you are.” With this saying in mind, I began to think about how it is not necessary to dwell on things that have happened in the past. What is the point at staying mad about something that is making you miserable? So, by becoming mindful of the situation, I resolve to let things go, and appreciate the time that I have with the people around me. No one has the power to make you unhappy, you can only LET people do that to.

- Mystic's Club

Amen to that...

2008-07-22T13:55:00.001-04:00

Hail to the Golden Girl!

2008-07-22T13:23:00.002-04:00

Estelle Getty has passed away. The legendary actress died today in her Los Angeles home at 5:35 A.M. She's 84 years old.

So sad.

Philippine Gangs and Criminal Syndicates - Dugo-Dugo Gang

2008-07-22T13:19:00.001-04:00

The Dugo-Dugo gang’s modus operandi is calling up your house and tell you that your loved ones got on an accident, and that they need immediate medical attention. The caller will often tell you that you need to go to a certain place and bring some money and/or jewelries so that they can pay the “hospital admittance deposit” which is necessary so that the supposed accident victims can be admitted to the hospital, and that they can’t be treated without first paying the deposit fee. They will then ask you to meet up with them in a certain place, often asking you what you look like and you are wearing. When you go to the meeting place, someone will approach you and asks for the money, then speed out of the place, citing that he must return immediately to the hospital to pay the deposit fee. They often draw up profound and seemingly shocking situations about your loved ones so you will panic and get confused so they can manipulate your actions.

Sad News from Home...

2008-07-22T12:23:00.003-04:00

I was surprised to see that my brother was calling me at 1:30am, Manila time. I was dreading to answer the phone because it might be news on something bad happening back home. But of course I had to answer. I was right.

Its sad that people resort to scams because of the poor economy in the Philippines. There's a group of people who prey on innocent (sometimes ignorant) house helps in posh villages in Manila. And this is exactly what happened. Someone called our house phone in the middle of the afternoon, when they're almost certain that the house help would be left alone. The guy who called said that my mom got into an accident and they needed money and jewelry to be brought to them so they can pay for the hospital bills. So our house helped forced open my mom's drawer, got cash and jewelry, then also got my brother's watch and took the cab to where the guy wanted to meet her.

*sigh*

Now my Dad's blood pressure is up. He's getting chest pains. And we have to deal with the entire police blotter and investigation. It just sucks that bad people couldn't fend for themselves and would resort to scamming other people's hard earned money to survive. I feel sorry for them. I just hope that they really needed the money for some important reason.

Sigh

2008-07-21T11:56:00.000-04:00

The Average Man

2008-07-21T11:26:00.003-04:00

uh oh...guess im not average!

Monogramouflage Louie Vuitton!

2008-07-20T11:16:00.002-04:00

I WANT!

Hope Sucks

2008-07-19T17:22:00.003-04:00

"Standing motionless in the shower this morning, letting the water just cascade over my head down my body, I had a realization. The worst thing about dating isn't getting rejected. It's allowing yourself to hope. Hope is the absolutely worst thing you can do when you're dating. Oh, I know hope is supposed to be this great sustaining emotion. Everybody always says, "Don't lose hope." Fuck that. Hope sucks. It's because I hope so hard that the disappointment is always so great.

It's about time I simply accepted the fact that there is no one out there waiting for me. Mr. Right doesn't exist."

- Men Who Love Men by William J. Mann

Why?!

2008-07-18T10:24:00.002-04:00

Diners have their meals on toilet seats at a toilet-themed restaurant in Hangzhou in Zhejiang province. The restaurant, which opened on June 1, features toilet seats as dining chairs and food served in miniature bathtubs and toilet bowls.

Passion

2008-07-17T22:03:00.003-04:00

I moved to New York City hoping to pursue my passion in Theatre Arts. I wasn't really aiming to be in Broadway right away because I know I had a long way to go in terms of experience and training. But I was a bit hopeful to be a part of some off-broadway shows. But the city has an over abundance of talent. It's very difficult to penetrate the industry. And it calls upon not just passion and commitment but also your full attention and time. But New York is such an expensive city, and one cannot be a struggling actor in this place. Unlike Los Angeles, I have friends who I can lean on in times of hardship (or hunger! lol!), but I didn't want to go through that again.

Now I have a great job as an Executive Assistant of the President of one of the up and coming fashion companies here in Manhattan. She's an awesome lady and she's been mentoring me by bringing me to events, meetings and fashion show rooms just to get a good handle on how the industry is working.

But I still miss the theatre. I've watched a couple of my friends' plays the past months. And all I can do is day dream and wish that someday I could act again. Last night's dream urged me to post an entry regarding this passion of mine. It was a bad dream. I was part of a big production. I auditioned for the part and was given high praises. I was very confident. Then come opening night, as the curtains were drawn and I came out on stage. I froze and lost all my lines. For a performer, this is the worst that can happen.

When I woke up, i felt really bad and sad at the same time. But i know someday, I will set foot in one of the theatres either here in New York or in Los Angeles or some other place. Someday...